Okay, so I didn’t win Nano this year. I got to just over 19k before I left for New Zealand. Although I would’ve liked to have had more words – halfway would’ve been nice, or even a round 20k, but alas – it’s 19k more words than I had at the beginning of November. I’ve given myself 6 months (ish) to finish this novel, but it’s been just over a week since I’ve come home and I haven’t touched it. That should give you an indication of whether or not I’m actually going to get this done in 6 months (probably not, but hey, I’m here to give it a go).
Instead of Nano snippets (although I’m not so good at sharing my writing, so who knows if that would’ve happened) – here is a short story that I wrote a few months back.
LIKE TINDER, BUT FOR DOGS
“Just swipe left already. He’s not that cute, probably has bad breath and his left ear’s all crooked.”
Janet is getting impatient.
“How dare you say that about my future housemate.”
“Okay fine, he’s lovely, but can we please keep looking?”
“Yes, yes, give me a second.”
I swipe left across the screen.
“Oh, this one’s a good one. He looks like he’d be a good cuddler.
“Ashley, you’ve said that about the last eight.”
“Well they all look like they’d be good cuddlers.”
“He’s better than the last one, but his legs are a bit big. I reckon he’d be a big runner.”
Janet’s probably right (again). She’s had much more experience with this than I have, so for now, her sage advice is all I’ve got.
“Next!” Janet is getting really impatient.
“This one’s got the David Bowie thing going on with his eyes.”
“Yeah, heterochromia. It’s quite cool actually. He’d be good to draw.”
“Good bone structure too.”
“Yes, he’s beautiful, but you’re not choosing him just because he’s beautiful. What does his bio say? Is he someone of substance?”
“I wouldn’t say being on here is saying we’re people of substance, but anyway.”
“Ash, don’t worry, your reputation is safe with me. His bio?”
“Oh right. It says ‘loves long walks and the beach. Ball is life.’ Bit boring. I want someone with a bit more oomph.”
“That’s the spirit Ash! Getting someone for the personality and not their looks. Of course we’re not shallow. Who’s the next one?”
“It’s a girl. Her name is Daisy.”
“What does her bio say?”
“It says ‘loves running. Chicken and rice is what I consider a good meal.”
“Better than ‘Ball is life’ guy, but chicken and rice, really? A bit on the bland side for me. I want someone who likes to experience the best things in life.”
“Dude you are way too fussy.”
“Why is there someone wrong with me wanting someone with a little bit of spice?”
“Because you’re looking for a dog.”
“Yes, but I want my dog with a bit of pa-zazz.”
“I get that – sort of – but you’ve gotta remember this is not Tinder, we a not looking for a boyfriend and dogs are not like people.”
“They’re sorta like people.”
“Yes, but not that much. You’re taking the next dog, okay?”
“Fine. What happens if it’s not a good dog?”
“It’ll be a great one. Here, look. Her name is Charlie and her bio says she’s ‘into the couch life’. Sounds like your type of gal.”
“She looks cool. Let’s do it.”
Janet’s finger hovers over the Next button for just a second before she presses. I’m going to meet this dog.