Here is a little something I wrote.
We have a Situation. In the last five minutes, it has progressed from a situation to a Situation and I fear that before the day is over, it will become a SITUATION.
Historically Situations only become SITUATIONS if the problem can’t be solved, and this problem is looking like a Bad One. It has all the markings of becoming a SITUATION (which would then become A SITUATION and I was not ready for that kind of thing).
To contain Situations, you need three things: a) courage, b) some really excellent persuasive skills, and c) as many bars of The Original chocolate bars as possible (but not more than 5, because more than 5 makes you sick. Trust me, I’ve had experience).
Courage and me, we weren’t the best of friends. We were more like acquaintances. He usually got the better of me, but sometimes, and really I do mean sometimes, I got the better of him. This was one of those times. Courage and I were ready to take on the Situation and kick some serious Situation Butt.
I have ‘some really excellent persuasive skills’, thanks to my 6 years as debate captain. I was ready to first, second and third speaker my way of out this Situation. I was ready to rebuttal all points even hinted at by the Situation. Give me some cue cards, some sticky notes and a pen and I was ready for this debate.
There are 17 chocolate bars hidden around my house for Situations like this, but I am not at my house. This meant that the half a chocolate bar in my pocket and the three Original Bars in my bra were going to have to do.
The chocolate is two-fold. If I beat the Situation, then it’s celebratory chocolate. If I lose against the Situation, then it’s rocking-in-the-fetal-position-I’m-sad-chocolate. Either way, I’m prepared.
The lady in front of me steps away and I am confronted with the Situation face-to-face. I am NOT prepared. The Situation isn’t offensive on sight (no that would be too obvious for a villain), but rather it’s the action the Situation does.
Scan, scan, SCAN THAT BREAD. Scanning my milk and the (really expensive) avocados and the crumpets that were on sale.
I check behind me. My mother is nowhere in sight.
SCANNING the chicken legs and the peaches. The Situation scans the carton of eggs (12 of them) and the dog food. There are suddenly only three things left. THREE THINGS BETWEEN a Situation and a SITUATION.
My mother is still not here.
This has become a SITUATION.
Lemme know what you think!